It's just fuel

Last Tuesday night I worked a floor I haven't been on in awhile when a traveling nurse commented on my continued weight loss.  My loss to date is less than 20lbs, that isn't a significant drop in 17 weeks.


I've made better progress in loss of inches and body fat, which is apparent when you view my pictures (my trainer says it looks as though I've lost 60lb not almost 20lb).  Plus my clothes embrace my body not squeeze to death or barely cover me.


As I  heated one of my meals the traveling nurse and I discussed nutrition and how most body builders we knew view food as nothing more than fuel for the body.


The nutrition plan I'm trying to follow is strict.  All it amounts to is fuel for my body whether I'm hungry for it or not it must be ingested.


I'm okay eating strict during my work week, sometimes it is challenging when co workers and or patient visitors bring in tasty treats.


How did I feel on Wednesday, day four?


DEPRIVED


It was difficult fitting in meal six, the 12 egg whites and a cup of broccoli or asparagus.  I wasn't hungry and quite honestly I think I was turned off of the idea after trying to eat 12 hardboiled egg whites-DISGUST.  The next night I attempted to re-heat pre-scrambled egg whites but they looked as unappealing as the alternative tasted.  They went from fluffy white to a gelatinous off white mess.  I couldn't bring myself to swallow them so in the trash they went!


I started off well on Thursday, meal one was a protein shake and meal two was a triathlete omelet at first watch which came with a cup of fruit and a dry English muffin.  I ate the fruit, most of it, and left the starchy carb, it cried when I got up and walked out the door.  That afternoon I took a long nap, woke up, wasn't hungry, took a shower and got ready for the evening.  By the time dinner rolled around I was hungry and craving spicy wings (my ultimate downfall-all time favorite cheat meal) at the Eastern Palace down the street, I had 8 with a headhunter which I wish I didn't order as it was weak in alcohol and not worth the calories.  Afterwards my guy took me to Easton.  We sat on the balcony at Bar Louie's and nibbled on Buffalo hot calamari and happily slurped down several dirty martinis with stuffed blue cheese olives.


Friday began the same way, protein drink, 6 egg whites with 2 whole eggs and half a grapefruit.  I took another long nap, showered then went grocery shopping with my eldest, got hungry and ordered spicy hot wings and Crab Rangoon at the China Phoenix.  I didn't have any alcohol. 


Saturday was the worst. I didn't work out (rest day) so I skipped my morning meal (bad, bad, bad), showered and got to the post office and bank before it closed. I ordered a double order of spicy hot wings Friday night, reheated the second order and had some fiddle faddle and Carmel macchiato Starbucks ice cream. I would have had some of the pasta I made for my girls but my guy took me out to see a movie, had a beer and then we went to Sushi Rock where I enjoyed spicy sweet calamari and quite a few grey goose on the rocks. Oh and I snuck a few bites of the brownie slathered with chocolate frosting before I went to bed along with a glass of limoncello.


I was a very bad girl!  I didn't gain weight though.  This was food decadence and I enjoyed every calorie without the slightest amount of guilt.


However I'm disappointed in myself.  I'd like to enter a figure competition one day but I can't go a week without cheating on my nutrition!  And yeah I'm a little upset with myself too.  I want to raise the bar and make significant changes in my body but I'm a nutrition failure.


I talked with Robyn about why I can't seem to lose the weight her fiance (my trainer) feels I should be losing.  I rattled off what I normally eat or not eat during my off days and she feels I'm not eating enough like I do during the work week.  I begin with one meal during the day and wait until evening before I have the next which isn't good!  Weird, but I never really thought about it.  I guess because I keep making significant changes and I was okay with it until now.  At one point I'll start to slow down, in fact I believe I have since I'm not making any drops in weight.


Before my talk with Robyn, I came in Friday morning to work out with Nutter and she was just finishing her egg whites and cream of rice, she kept licking her fork.


"Ummm, are you gonna eat the fork?"


She looked at it, turned it around, paused...


I just might...


She dropped her half grapefruit face down on the gym carpet.


I don't care!


And she didn't care because she devoured it, I looked down at the carpet and made sure it was still intact, I wouldn't put it past her to take in more fiber!


We then began our discussion on how restrictive this diet was. She's been on it for about 14 weeks at 4.6% body fat and aiming for 2%. She talked about how many men (gym regulars) who talk to her about competing and then they go on this diet and change their minds.  I'm here to tell you this isn't easy; I'm not beating myself up about it but damn!  Working out is so effortless compared to nutrition!

I will say that I felt a whole lot leaner on this diet.  Maybe I'll still get to where I want with a few adjustments, it'll just take a little longer and I'm okay with that.

I spoke with Nutter and he suggested instead of adding cream of rice on my fourth day that I limit myself to two cheat meals with moderate drinking on two of my days off but I've got to make sure and eat all my other meals like I do during my work week.

Starting over...  Day one is today, Sunday.