I've been thinking more about how I want to look and whether figure competition is for me.
I'm competitive but I don't think competition is something I want to do at this time if ever.
- I don't like to be too restrictive with my diet. I enjoy a cheat meal on my off days and like to know if I want to have a drink I can although I've been scaling back on that.
- Financial reasons, competition is expensive!
Nutter read my BLOG and his response via text:
I read your BLOG... please don't let someone stop you from your dreams or goals just so they feel more secure... not worth it.
I told him I didn't think competing was really for me.
Like I said competing isn't for everyone. That doesn't mean you still can't get lean, lose weight and look awesome.
Contest or no I want the same result and if he or anyone doesn't like it my health and fitness isn't something I want to compromise.
Last night I had my guy over for dinner and movies.
After I raved about my latest body fat and burn results he told me he thought I looked great and that he felt I was at a great stopping point.
I thought about what Nutter said and part of me can't believe he's insecure and that he wouldn't want me to be fit, after all he is a personal trainer, baseball coach and ex semi pro baseball player.
He could tell what he said bothered me.
I love how you look. He loves my curves. This is how I met you, this is what I like, what attracts me and I don't want to see you get too skinny and lose your shape. I don't want to be tempted to look elsewhere. I'm happy with you and how you are.
While I'm thrilled to hear him say this I'm also concerned. I feel good that he likes me as I am but worried if I change too much he'll be more attracted to some other body. I guess maybe he doesn't love me as much as he keeps telling me.
MY HEALTH AND FITNESS ISN'T SOMETHING I WANT TO COMPROMISE!
Again he could tell what he said bothered me as I could tell how much he does care.
What about my pictures on the fridge?
Those are great pictures, Danni...
I want my belly button pierced again.
I'd like that too.
My belly needs to thin out before I do that.
I explained how my body works. I thin out a lot on top and my waist get's real small. Sometimes it's tough buying jeans because my waist is so small and my thighs and butt are and always have been bigger. Those are the areas he doesn't want to see too small, if anything he wants' those areas enhanced.
Now we're getting somewhere. I don't want to lose my curves either! I already know my boobs will go. I don't want that to happen but there isn't much I can do unless I want to invest in implants.
Okay Nutter, you said you could get me looking however I want?
- I want a rock solid round ass and if you could get it to stick out a bit more great.
- I want tapered well sculpted slightly thickened thighs.
- I want a ripped midsection.
- I want more definition in my arms.
- I don't want to lose my curves!
Is this possible, what I want to look like?
Nutters answer again via text:
Completley... like I said. Listen to me, and I'll get you where you want to be. Even though you'll have cheat meals here and there, you have to give itself 100%. You already give me 100% I'm talking about what you do outside the gym is just as important. You once had the body you liked. What in life changed that, food and alcohol. So we have to use food to get you back and looking even better. Nothing is impossible if you really believe in it. I believe in it because I've changed hundreds of bodies and lives. You can do it.
I so have to watch what I eat and drink. It isn't enough to tell myself or hear it from Nutter or write it as a reminder in my BLOG, record it on loseit.com, but I also write it down in a book to help point out what I'm eating and drinking and how much it is costing me in calories and or in fitness. I can be in my calorie budget but am I eating and drinking sources that will build my body or tear it down?